


As Always, I Will Love You

by As_I_Am_Now



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Song fic, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-21 07:04:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/897294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/As_I_Am_Now/pseuds/As_I_Am_Now
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr request: Wincest with a homophobic/angry John Winchester. Note: Song is Lana Del Reys, "Summertime Sadness."</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Always, I Will Love You

**_Kiss me hard before you go._ **

**_Summertime Sadness._ **

**_I just wanted you to know._ **

**_That baby you the best._ **

 

Sam knew it had been a bad idea.

They had just found their father, after what felt like years of looking for him, and he was sleeping not even three feet away. Everything was still fresh, the fight Sam had before he left for college stayed on his mind even after relief flooded from seeing that his dad wasn’t dead. So many things had changed since he and Dean had started hunting together, so many things that could never revert back to the way they were.

Could Sam really blame Dean for wanting to be close?

After so many days, miles, moments?

Of course not, but that didn’t stop the action from being stupid and careless.

“I love you Sammy,” Dean had said, “And I don’t care if he finds out.”

Yeah, right.

Sam nodded but he knew Dean cared. He just _needed_ Sam close, just as badly as Sam needed him there, next to him, kissing his neck in that way of his; that needy, I-can’t-live-without-you-way…slow, careful, and filled with harbored emotions.

“Dean, I don’t think-“

“What are you two doing?” John said, sitting on the edge of his bed. He was always so damn quiet.

 “Nothing,” Dean answered.

The lamp light flicked on and John was looming over them now, with a confused look on his face. When he noticed the state they were in, Dean practically on top of Sam while Sam had an arm wrapped around Dean’s waist- well, his expression turned dark quickly.

“What are you two doing?” John repeated through gritted teeth.

“Dad, it’s nothing.” Sam said, remaining calm, watching for John’s next move. The man was volatile, they never knew if he would sit calmly or start throwing objects and punches.

It looked like it would be the latter.

 “Dean, would you explain to me why you and your _brother,_ ” he spit out the word, “are in such a compromising position?” John said. Dean began to get up but John pushed him back down.

“No, you look comfortable there, don’t move.” John said menacingly. Dean didn’t take the hint and stood up, grabbing John’s wrist when he made a move to shove Dean again.

“Were adults-“ Dean began.

“No, you’re disgusting, filthy, I don’t even know where to begin-“

“You seem off to a pretty good start.” Dean said eyes narrowed.

“Don’t disrespect me young man-“

“Right, because you’ve done so much to earn my respect.” Dean said.

Sam couldn’t remember whose fist was swung first. But he did recall who ended it. Both men fought until bruises and cuts where the least of their worries.

 

**_I’m feelin’ electric tonight._ **

**_Cruisin’ down the coast._ **

**_Goin’ Route 99._ **

**_Got my bad baby by my heavenly side._ **

**_Oh if I go I’ll die happy tonight_ ** _._

It started in tidbits, but it escalated so quickly that Sam could never remember if it had begun at one point, or had been something that had always happened.

Without them realizing it.

There were always glances and gestures that were out of place.

There had always been moments that rang with deeper meaning, moments neither of them would consider.

There was a connection that solidified when they began hunting together and had spent time together at bars and motels and in the Impala.

It was only natural that they would snap.

Two people could not be exposed to each other for that long of a period and not feel the effects of each other’s presence. And so, between cheap motel sheets, words of love were declared and lips touched and bodies moved in perfect rhythm with each other.

Because…it was inevitable.

****

**_Oh, my God, I feel it in the air_** **** __  
Telephone wires above all sizzlin' like your stare  
Honey I'm on fire I feel it everywhere  
Nothing scares me anymore

They travel like they always travel.

Away.

“After we kill that son of a bitch, I’m done Sammy.” Dean said.

“Dean, just because Dad died,” Sam began.

“No, you don’t get it do you?” Dean yelled, pulling the car to the side of the dirt road and slamming the breaks.

“I’m tired Sam,” Dean said, “I’m tired of the secrets, I’m tired of the monsters, I’m tired of the death and the loss.”

“I know we didn’t leave Dad off on good terms,” Sam said, “but-“

“We left on shit terms Sam, but that’s not the point. The point is, when all this is over and that yellowed eyed asshole is dead, I want,” Dean stopped and stared out of the window.

“What is it?” Sam asked. Dean sighed.

“When all this is over I want it to jut be you and me.” Dean said, looking at Sam. Damn it all if Sam could resist those green eyes. Send the world to hell and back before Sam could deny Dean anything.

“Alright Dean, when this is all over, it’ll just be you and me.” Sam said, smiling slightly.

Dean smiled too.

“Just as it should be.”

 

 __  
 **Kiss me hard before you go**  
Summertime sadness  
I just wanted you to know  
That baby you're the best

 

Sam was dead.

Sam was dead.

Sam was _dead._

Like a mantra that played. Stopped. And repeated.

Dean couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t make a sound. It wasn’t until a few moment’s had passed before he realized that he had been screaming his brother’s name. _  
_Not even Bobby’s strong arms could pull him away from his brother. __  
Not even the rain could cleanse the pain away.  
Sam was dead.

And Dean knew exactly what to do.

 

 ** _I think I'll miss you forever_** **** __  
Like the stars miss the sun in the morning skies  
Late is better than never  
Even if you're gone I'm gonna drive, drive

 

Sam woke up and couldn’t remember a thing.

Yet, somehow, he preferred it that way.

 “Hey, Sammy.” Dean said, before encasing him in a hug. Sam welcomed it with open arms and breathed in the Dean’s scent. Sweaty, woodsy, and perhaps not perfect but incredibly Dean, which was all that mattered.

             “What happened?” Sam asked, after they broke off. Bobby was standing against the doorway, a frown playing on his face.

“Gave us a scare,” Dean said, pointedly not looking at Bobby’s direction, “Thought you were dead.”

“It’s good to have you back boy,” Bobby said, grabbing Sam by the shoulders and embracing him.

And somehow Sam knew.

He knew what Dean had done.

And he knew it was because Dean needed him just as much as he needed Dean.

If it had been Sam…he would have done the same thing. __  
  
  


 ** _Kiss me hard before you go_** **** __  
Summertime sadness  
I just wanted you to know  
That baby you're the best

 

 

 

 

Against all odds they killed the yellowed eyed asshole.

Dean shot him in the head while John held onto him and everything that they had worked up to had come to a finish.

Sam wasn’t surprised that he felt hollow. Their entire lives led up to this moment and now the moment had passed.

John spirit stood awkwardly as they stood up and gestured to the two of them.

“I don’t like it and I don’t accept it.” John stated firmly, “But I’ve come to the conclusion that neither of you gives a shit about my opinion.”

“You came to the right conclusion,” Dean said firmly.

John nodded.

“Everything else aside, I’m proud of you,” he looked at Sam, “both of you.”

And with that he was gone.

They closed the gate and the world was once again, a shit place to be in.

But, if Sam thought about it, it would always be that way.

Looking at Dean, he had to hand it to himself- yes, the world was a horrible place and they had seen the worst of it.

Yet, being with his brother, it made it all the more bearable.

**_I’ve got that summertime, summertime sadness_ **

**_Summertime, Summertime sadness_ **

**_Got that summertime, summertime sadness._ **

**_Oh, Oh_ **

 

They were on the road as they had always been.

Everything was bleak and the world was a darker place than it had been before, if that was even possible- which, beyond belief, it was.

They were driving, as they always did, between one place to the other, solving cases and trying to eradicate the world of its problems.

Like always.

“Do you ever wish that things had been different?” Sam asked as Dean nodded to the music on the radio.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked.

“Do you ever wish none of this had happened?” Sam asked, knowing fully well what the answer was.

“Of course I do.” Dean replied, “I wish none of this had ever happened and that we had lived with the little league and had gone to school and had gone to prom like everyone else. I wish you could have finished college and that I could have done something else. I wish for a lot of things, Sammy.” Dean said.

“But I can’t change anything, and as far as I’m concerned I’m pretty happy given the circumstances.” Dean said, looking sideways at him. Sam smiled.

“Are you?” Sam asked. Dean rolled his eyes but smiled anyways.

“I am.”

And they continued to drive in silence, together along the long road- two brothers with only their car and each other to call home.

Just as it should be.


End file.
